My Windows 11 Odyssey: A Comedy of Errors and ‘Unsupported’ Hardware

Once upon a digital time, many moons ago i.e. 2021, in the mystical realm of the internet, I embarked on a quest to upgrade my trusty seventh-gen i7 UX305 laptop to the coveted Windows 11. Little did I know that this quest would turn into a comedy of errors, starring me as the unsuspecting protagonist.

With all the grace of a tech-savvy goose, I embarked on my journey. I ventured to corners of the internet that God himself might not endorse. There, in the dark alleys of the web, I found a copy of Windows 11. The words “compatible hardware” whispered like a faint warning in the back of my mind. But did I heed it? Of course not!

As I downloaded the forbidden fruit and initiated the installation, I couldn’t help but feel like a rebel without a pause button. Little did I know that Windows 11 had its own comedic timing, and it was about to drop a punchline that would leave my laptop gasping for RAM.

The installation began with all the subtlety of a bullhorn in a library. My laptop, which had seen its fair share of OS upgrades, now faced a conundrum of epic proportions. It was like fitting a square peg into a hexagonal hole while hoping for the best.

Asking a snake to thread a needle

My laptop, bless its silicon heart, valiantly tried to comply. It stuttered and groaned, not unlike a dad joke that gets an awkward chuckle. It struggled to meet the new OS’s demands. Windows 11 demanded resources like a high-maintenance diva in a low-budget theatre.

As I watched my laptop’s performance drop faster than a lead balloon, I couldn’t help but laugh – a desperate, nervous laugh. At that moment, I became the punchline of the biggest tech joke I’d ever encountered. Undeterred, I decided to give Windows 11 a fighting chance. As I bit my lower lip in determination, I forged ahead into the brave new world of Microsoft’s latest creation.

A boomer in an ama2000s group chat

From the very get-go, Windows 11 was like an eccentric artist’s vision of a futuristic operating system. The menus, instead of the familiar corners, were placed dead centre like a comedian hitting you with a punchline right in the middle of a sentence. It was as if my laptop had walked into a party and discovered it was the only one wearing a suit.

Then there were the icons. My trusty Windows 10 had icons that were all business, no-nonsense. But Windows 11 decided that icons should be fun, cartoony, and a tad mischievous, like the class clown who won’t stop making faces during a serious lecture. It was an icon revolution that I wasn’t entirely ready for.

But the final straw came when I tried to do something as simple as dragging and dropping an app onto the taskbar. It was a task I’d taken for granted with Windows 10, like breathing or getting a morning coffee. But Windows 11 had other ideas. It was like trying to teach a cat to play fetch – a noble endeavour, but ultimately futile.

And oh, the sin of “Do Not Combine.” My heart sank as I realized that Windows 11 had imposed its will upon my taskbar. The taskbar buttons were now stacked together like a pack of sardines in a can, leaving no room for individuality. It was like trying to organise a family reunion in a studio apartment – cramped and chaotic.

As I wrestled with these changes, it became clear that I was forcing things like Will Smith trying to keep his marriage together – a valiant effort, but sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. To add insult to injury, my laptop’s battery performance began to deteriorate.

I tried to convince myself that it was simply a matter of age. But deep down, I knew that Windows 11 was the guest at the party who had overstayed their welcome and was now raiding the fridge.

The walk of shame back to 10’s arms

In the end, I had to bid adieu to my Windows 11 dreams. My laptop sighed in relief, its cooling fan sounding almost like applause for a good comedy act. It was a tale of an unsupported romance between a laptop and an OS. As I rolled back to my old, reliable OS, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d learned my lesson.

So, my fellow tech enthusiasts, if you’re tempted to dance with Windows 11 on unsupported hardware, remember my tale of woe. It’s like trying to make a penguin tap dance – entertaining in theory, but ultimately a comedy act that’s better left to the professionals.

With my Windows 11 experiment in the rearview mirror, I knew it was time for a fresh start. So, I packed my bags, waved farewell to Windows 11, and reformatted my laptop back to the comforting embrace of Windows 10.

As the saying goes, “You can’t downgrade, but you can sure undo your own tech misadventures.” One day we will have a class discussion on who is “they” who always seems to have profound anecdotes. But the bitter truth remained – my laptop’s battery performance didn’t magically spring back to life. It turns out that even technology doesn’t have a “rejuvenate” button.

Fast forward to the year 2023, and it was time for a much-needed upgrade. This time around, I had learned my lesson. No more ex-Jap tech shenanigans for me. I took the bold step that all sensible people should consider – I asked for my wife’s permission.

Miraculously, the universe aligned correctly, and I was granted the golden ticket to buy a new laptop. Yes, it’s a thing, boys and girls – don’t underestimate the power of domestic diplomacy.

Picking out a bachelorette

Now, shopping for a new PC in Zimbabwe is like climbing the Ural Mountains with nothing but your feet and claws… while wearing underwear. There is nowhere easily accessible to try and feel before exchanging cows for something. Added you’re faced with a choice: settle for subpar hardware or be prepared to trade a kidney for a device that promises to make your digital dreams come true.

Enter online shopping, where sites like Takealot always have enticing promos running. However, they seem to have missed the memo that they’re not just selling vacuum cleaners or kitchen appliances; they’re dealing with the tech-savvy bunch.

There’s a hunger for specs and details, but alas, on Takealot, there’s nothing but a digital tumbleweed rolling through the specs section. I think I need to clear my browser history from that two-week period when I was hunting for a new PC.

Evetech and Laptops Direct became my virtual haunts during this quest. Sidebar: whoever designed the Laptops Direct website must have a permanent place in GPU heat hell, because navigating that site felt like trying to find a snowflake in the Sahara Desert.

Windows 11 as Satya intended

With my new laptop in tow, I had no choice but to face Windows 11 once again, it came preinstalled a foregone conclusion. The vitriol from my previous dance with this OS still lingered, but for “insurance purposes” (ZACC lifestyle audit fears), I’ll keep the specifics of my new laptop’s brand and model shrouded in secrecy.

As I reluctantly powered it on, I braced myself for the pain of setting up this shiny new machine. To my dismay, Windows 11 insisted on having a Microsoft account for the initiation ritual. It was like entering a secret society, but instead of a secret handshake, they wanted my email and a password.

What’s more, my user folder was now adorned with a name derived from the first six characters of my Outlook account. It was like giving your pet goldfish a name inspired by your favourite cereal. Unconventional, to say the least.

But then, something magical happened. Windows 11, it seemed, had grown up. Like a prodigal child returning with newfound wisdom, it had evolved. With the release of 22H2, we saw the triumphant return of drag and drop to the taskbar – a feature that had eluded me during my previous escapade. It was like seeing an old friend after years apart.

And as if that weren’t enough, with the arrival of 23H2, a feature of utmost importance to many was resurrected – “Do Not Combine.” I’m not ashamed to admit I shed a tear. It was as if a long-lost love had returned, and my taskbar was whole once more.

Now, I could inundate you with a list of all the stats and specs, but I sense that might not be the most riveting part of this tale. Suffice it to say that whatever you could do in Windows 10, Windows 11 can do it better and more efficiently – except Paint and Snipping Tool, but let’s be honest, that’s nitpicking in a world where so much has been improved. If your hardware supports it, there really is no reason any more to hold out.

By Guest Author, Lennon I. Emmanuel

Also read:

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